Feeling a little unsure of yourself? Nervous? Suffering negative thoughts, self doubt and low self esteem? If so, it sounds like you need to get self confidence quickly.
All of us, at some time or other, lack self confidence, doubt ourselves or suffer negative thoughts. Even the most successful suffer from a lack of self-confidence from time to time. But why? And what can be done about it?
“Self-confidence is a natural and in-built characteristic which all of us possess, just look at the youngest children and their incredible zest for life for evidence. Yet, from a young age, we’re regularly subjected to judgments, expectations, negative thoughts and criticism (as well as love, praise and affection) from our parents, siblings, carers, teachers and peers. We’re encouraged to try to please and accede to the demands of these significant others in our lives and we are educated away from listening to our own hearts, instincts or even our own personal ‘gut feelings.’
Unfortunately we are being asked to achieve the impossible because the external demands placed upon us continually change from one moment to the next. Invariably feelings of not being worthy and not being good enough start to dominate, and we internalise those feelings as being who we really are. Lack of self-confidence is a direct result of this resistant thinking and limiting belief system.
The voice in our heads gets louder. A voice that belongs to our own Inner Judge who keeps putting us down … “I can’t do this” … “I’ll never meet that deadline” … “I am not good enough” … “They won’t like me” …
We assume that this is how it must be and no matter how bad it makes us feel, we accept our self imposed limitations and struggle on. We compare ourselves to the most successful and conclude that our Inner Judge is right.
Yet all the while, deep within us, there is a nagging feeling that reminds us … “I am capable of so much more” … “I am free to choose how I live my life” … “I do have an awful lot to offer” … “I can be happy” … This is a glimpse of the real you, the self-confident you. Even on a cloudy day the sun continues to shine brightly, and to boost your self-confidence you just need to gradually remove the clouds of resistance that have gathered before you.
So what are the most practical steps that will give your self-confidence a much-needed boost?
“How to Build Self-Confidence in 10 Simple Steps”
The steps recommended are:
- Accept Where You Are Today
- Take Total Responsibility For Where You Are – Stop Blaming Others
- Be Honest About How You Feel and Identify Your Negative Feelings
- Reach For A More Positive Feeling By Experimenting With More Positive Thoughts
- Be Specific About What You Do Want
- Try to Focus Your Undivided Attention On What You Do Want
- Develop An ‘I CAN’ Attitude
- Believe In Your Worthiness And Value and Ignore Old Judgments Made By You or Others
- Monitor Your Progress By Checking In With Your Feelings
- Congratulate Yourself On The Progress You Have Made – Repeat The Process
The cause of your self-confidence issue is: Your Belief System
The tools to boost your self-confidence are: Your Desire/Your Focus/Your Belief System
The measure of increasing self-confidence is: Your Feelings
Your next steps
To start you on the best path to boost your self-confidence:
- Be honest with yourself about where your most important self-confidence issues lie right now
- Try to identify the limiting belief that lies behind your lack of self-confidence
- Remain determined to change for the better
- Find a programme and participate with like-minded people to open yourself to positive change and share your growth experience with others travelling on a similar journey
Positive change can only be experienced after you make a decision to change.