After a breakup, you may be tempted to send text messages to get your ex back. Some experts advise against this while others have dedicated entire courses to teaching you how to send texts to open your ex to the idea of being with you again.
So why is there such a discrepancy?
Sending text messages to get your ex back is a fairly new idea. Much relationship advice has existed for hundreds or even thousands of years. But cell phones and text messaging are relatively new technologies. Thus, advice on how to properly use them to get your ex back have been slow to develop.
The truth is, you CAN get your ex back by using carefully crafted text messages. However, it's also true that you can push your ex away for good by sending the wrong kinds of texts or sending texts too often.
Using text messages to get your ex back needs to be done in a systematic way that involves several different phases.
First, you need to break off all contact with your ex for about a month. This means no texting, no calling, no hanging out, etc. You have to give your ex time to miss you and time to sort out what they are currently feeling toward you.
Next, you need to gently open the lines of communication. This is where you use texts that are commonly referred to as "across the bow" or "shot in the dark" texts.
The idea is simply to let your ex know you are thinking about them and that you are OK with the breakup. You do not put pressure on them to respond, but you want them to start thinking positive thoughts about you.
For example: "I could not help but think of you last night during that awesome thunderstorm. I know how much you love walking in the rain. Hope you're doing great."
Next, you want to use various types of text messages that plant positive thoughts and emotions in your ex's mind and remind your ex how close the two of you used to be. These are commonly referred to as "best of the relationship" and "intimacy booster" texts.
For example: "Do you remember the first time you took me snowboarding and I spent the whole time crashing down the hill on my butt? I remember how you smiled at me every time you helped me up. That was really fun … even if I could not sit down afterward. "
Once you've established a connection again, there are also text messages to get your ex back that involve using your ex's jealousy to your advantage and ones that allow you to lay your heart on the line and tell your ex how you really feel.
It's important to note you need to use these types of texts in the right way and in the right order. After all, reminding your ex how close you are or telling them your deepest feelings immediately following a breakup probably is not going to be a good strategy when using text messages to get your ex back.